Marge was never the type to fall for a scam. At 78 years old, she’d lived through enough to know that if something sounded too good—or too bad—to be true, it probably was. But things have changed over the past year. Slowly, and without her realizing it, the first signs of dementia began creeping into her life. Little memory lapses here and there. A misplaced checkbook.

A phone call she forgot she had already answered. Then came the day her phone rang, and the voice on the other end introduced himself as a government authority. They told her she was under investigation. They told her she owed thousands. They told her—very clearly—that if she didn’t comply, she would be arrested. The instructions were precise: go to the store, buy iTunes gift cards, take pictures of the back of each card, and text them one by one to the number they provided.

And she did. Again. And again. Over the course of a year, Marge sent thousands of dollars’ worth of gift cards to scammers operating from halfway around the world. Each time, they kept her hooked with a mix of intimidation and urgency, exploiting her fear and confusion.

This is not rare—it’s happening every day.

It’s a gut punch. They believe they’re avoiding arrest, helping a government investigation, or paying off some urgent debt. The truth is harsher: they’ve been manipulated by scammers who know exactly how to prey on fear, trust, and confusion.

Family members often respond with shock, followed quickly by frustration or anger. But in most cases—especially when dementia or cognitive decline is involved—the victim isn’t acting out of foolishness. They’re being subjected to targeted psychological tactics designed to override reason and create obedience. Scammers have mastered the art of conditioning their victims to respond instantly to threats and to ignore anyone who tells them otherwise.

The worst thing a family can do is respond with blame or shame. That only pushes the victim further into secrecy, making them more dependent on the scammer’s influence. Instead, the key is patience, compassion, and collaboration. Conversations should focus on safety and well-being, not fault. Bringing the victim into the solution—such as agreeing together to use call-blocking software—can make them feel respected rather than controlled.

In some cases, though, the victim becomes fiercely resistant to help. This resistance isn’t always simple stubbornness—it can be the result of coercive persuasion, a form of psychological manipulation that resembles brainwashing. In medical and legal contexts, it’s sometimes referred to as undue influence or financial exploitation of a vulnerable adult. These terms matter, because they acknowledge that the victim is under a form of control, not just “being hard-headed.”

When the situation escalates or becomes entrenched, involving a professional can be the difference between ongoing loss and protection. A psychologist specializing in geriatric psychology or elder counseling can address both the cognitive and emotional manipulation at play. They can help the victim rebuild trust in their family, recognize manipulation, and feel supported rather than attacked.

If dementia is a factor, protecting the victim may require more direct action: financial guardianship, power of attorney, or restricting access to certain communication methods. These measures can be taken while still honoring their dignity and independence wherever possible.

Scams like these don’t just take money—they take confidence, trust, and peace of mind. Fighting back means acting early, working together, and understanding that behind every “hard-headed” victim is a person who’s been carefully groomed to believe they’re doing the right thing. The goal isn’t just to stop the scam. It’s to help them feel safe again.

| WHY THIS HAPPENS TO ELDERLY VICTIMS

• Elderly individuals, especially those experiencing cognitive decline, are uniquely vulnerable to these schemes for several reasons:
• Impaired Judgment – Dementia affects decision-making ability, making it harder to recognize something as suspicious.
• Trust in Authority – Many seniors were raised in an era when you didn’t question “official” voices on the phone.
• Isolation – Seniors living alone may have few people to check in with before taking action.
• Fear and Urgency – Scammers thrive on creating panic, giving no time for victims to pause and think.

| OTHER WAYS TO COMBAT SCAMMERS

• Awareness and Education – Family members and caregivers must have open, frequent conversations about common scams.
• Call Verification – Encourage seniors to hang up and call a trusted family member or the official published number of the alleged agency before acting.
• Financial Monitoring – Set up alerts on bank accounts for unusual purchases.
• Block Unwanted Calls – Use call-blocking technology or register numbers on the National Do Not Call list.

| WHERE TECHNOLOGY CAN STEP IN

Protect loved ones by:

• Installing Scam-Blocking Software – Filtering out known scam calls and texts before they reach the victim.
• Remote Monitoring Tools – Letting a trusted family member be alerted when unusual activity occurs on a senior’s devices.
• Secure Device Configuration – Locking down smartphones and computers so only approved contacts can communicate.
• Training and Support – Offering in-home or virtual sessions to teach seniors and caregivers how to spot scams before they happen.

| REMOTE ACCESS TOOLS (R.A.T.)

In addition to phone scams, many fraudsters use remote desktop tools to take control of a victim’s computer without their knowledge. By convincing seniors to install software “to help fix a problem” or “verify an issue,” scammers gain full access to files, passwords, and financial accounts. This allows them to steal information, install malware, or even make unauthorized purchases directly.

An experienced technology company can detect and remove these hidden remote access trojans and tools. With specialized security scans and hands-on support, they ensure your loved one’s devices are clean, secure, and locked down—cutting off scammers at the source before more damage is done.

Marge’s story is heartbreaking—but it’s not over. With her family now aware and with the right technology in place, the calls have stopped. The scammers have moved on, and she’s no longer their victim. But somewhere else, another phone is ringing. Another voice is claiming to be “from the government.” And another person is about to buy gift cards they can’t afford. Stopping that cycle means acting early—before the damage is done.

| VIDEOS

To understand how scammers operate, check out Pirogi’s channel on Scammer Payback on YouTube. After watching a few episodes, you’ll gain a clear view of the real threats and the tactics these criminals use—manipulation and fear.

REFERENCES & MORE INFORMATION